There’s about a foot of snow outside and it’s cold. Feels like a typical Minnesota winter. No better time to watch some old AWA then!
Here’s our lineup for tonight:
1. Akio Sato vs. Jim Evans
2. Tom Stone vs. Scott Norton
3. Col. DeBeers vs. Eddie Slater
4. Greg Gagne vs. Tony Leone
5. Mike George vs. Jake “Milkman” Milliman
6. Badd Company (Paul Diamond & Pat Tanaka) vs. Tommy Jammer & Derrick Dukes
7. Greg Gagne vs. Akio Sato
8. Tom Zenk vs. Paul Diamond
9. Wahoo McDaniel & Scott Norton vs. The Destruction Crew (Mike Enos & Wayne Bloom)
Eric Bischoff, doing his best local afternoon newsman impression with some sort of shag carpet rug on his head goes over everything. We’ll see Greg Gagne, Scott Norton, Ken Patera and the “last match of Wahoo McDaniel”. The first five bouts were squashes. Guessing this was part of a TV taping or something? Not sure. Only decent one was Norton vs. Stone where Norton slugged the shit out of Stone with a VICIOUS forearm and Stone did a great job of making Norton look like a million bucks.
Going out of order a bit here but we cut to a blonde guy in orange tights holding a barbell that supposedly holds 800 pounds. Bischoff, who is now wearing a Cosby sweater, identifies him as Wayne Bloom. Bloom challenged Ken Patera to a, get this, a CAR LIFTING CHALLENGE! What the hell? Oh look! It’s Larry Nelson! One of my favorite people from the 80s AWA because of his wackiness. He’s so befuddled that his eyes are bugging out of his head. Ken Patera wanders in and yells about this supposed car lifting challenge.
Time for the car lifting challenge. If Wayne Bloom lifts the car within three tries, Bloom and Enos get a title match. If Patera lifts the car, the Destruction Crew are “eliminated” as challengers. This lunacy is hosted by Lee Marshall. This car looks like a Yugo from some scrapyard. Maybe it’s Verne Gagne’s car? They go over the rules FIVE TIMES! FIVE TIMES! I think we know how this thing works. If you don’t, there will be a pop quiz later. There’s a LOT of talking and stalling between the contestants. Bloom lifts the back end of the car. Destruction Crew is great here just being totally obnoxious and throwing tantrums and being completely over the top with their theatrics. The crew goes to but more weights in the trunk and CAN’T OPEN THE TRUNK! This is hilarious. Patera has passed on both of his attempts so far. Lee Marshall is getting so pissed at Bloom throwing his tantrums. Patera tells the crew to add more weight. I smell shenanigans afoot here. YEP! I was right! And Johnny Valiant turns up. The fuck? This was completely ridiculous but drug on FOREVER. Valiant screams nonsense. Patera is gushing blood. Well that was fun but was a bit too long. A REALLY washed out Larry Nelson is beside himself about what just happened in the proceedings. Bloom says Patera cheated. Well, actually, he didn’t so his argument doesn’t hold water.
Bad Company vs. Tommy Jammer & Derrick Dukes is up and the announcers are so bored they start talking about the Kentucky Derby and their favorite cookie stores in San Diego. Awesome clothesline by Jammer that just destroyed Tanaka. I like the quick pace that Jammer and Dukes are setting. This has been the best match by a large margin. Not that the competition has been all that great. Ref gets distracted and Tanaka goes for a top rope headbutt on Jammer. Jammer pulls Diamond on top and Tanaka smashes into him as Jammer scores the pin. Pretty creative finish actually. Some good stuff and Jammer and Dukes were a fun little team. I was waiting for something exciting to happen in the Gagne vs. Sato match and so far nothing really did. Sato works nerve holds forever. I’ve not seen a lot of Greg Gagne matches except for some of the matches on the DVDVR AWA 80s set. He just seems out of place in 1989 though. Not sure why. As soon as I say that, he hits a nice dropkick. Sato goes back to the nerve hold. Ok, that flying head scissors by Gagne was pretty cool. Don’t see people do that a lot today. Last bit of this was good but it took forever to get there. Nothing super extravagant from Diamond vs. Zenk but a decent little match with a quick pace. These babyfaces are so cheesy. Stomping the mat and clapping their hands to get the crowd with them. Lots of arguing between DDP and Paul Diamond. There wasn’t too much here to get excited about. Huge post match brawl with Zenk getting beaten down by Diamond and Akio Sato. Greg Gagne turns up and chases them off. So I guess that means Gagne & Zenk vs. Diamond & Sato in the future? I mean, I guess that will be good? Bischoff is back and sums up the mess between Gagne, Sato, Zenk and everyone else. Our main event, Wahoo McDaniel & Scott Norton against the Destruction Crew, is next! Finally. Destruction Crew comes out brandishing sledgehammers, safety vests and hard hats. I’d like to image the Hammer Brothers, who wrestle in the Pacific Northwest, got some inspiration from them. Johnny V on commentary says Wahoo should go to spring training with the Indians. Dude, it’s May. The season is already in full swing! Five minutes in and there’s a ref bump. Destruction Crew beat the crap out of Wahoo. Lots of craziness. Bell rings. Norton kills everyone. Wahoo is bleeding like crazy. This only went about five minutes. I watched this show out of curiosity more than anything and I can’t say there was really anything here of value. I was bored watching this and that boredom ate away at my creativity. The car lifting challenge was beyond ridiculous and built up to absolutely nothing whatsoever.